Together but isolated

8 Nov

Sometimes I wonder if people wonder if their actions hurt people and make them feel isolated. As I look at the snap chats of my family hanging out while I’m at home, I wonder to myself am I that horrible of a family member that they won’t extend the invite to me? Looking on at my familys interactions, I feel like such an odd man out. Looking back at how my relationship with my family deteriorated so much in the years makes me wonder how did it get to this point. Is it me? It have just been getting harder and harder to interact with them. Sometimes I want to ask them do you still want me as family? Is my existence nonessential to them? I try so hard to ignore the family pictures that doesn’t have me in it. I don’t know how to talk to them anymore. Every time i see them having a conversation with each other and I am just sitting in the side I feel so disconnected from them even though I am sitting across/next to them.

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18 Dec

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